Walk a Paragraph

Stumbling out of bed, I knew that while my beautiful wife rests up in heaven, another day of coping with the pain lay ahead. As I put on my socks, pants, and my trademark football jacket, I started the day as I always do. A swift and chilly walk to the mall to greet my friends and pickup my prescription drugs. Our group of friends meet at the mall every morning for a coffee and a chance to go over last nights sports stats. My bestfriend was wearing his favorite Canucks toque. The Canucks had lost to my beloved Montreal Canadians the night before, but spirits were not diminished as we laughed and joked about last night's game. I was so delighted my friends were here to accompany me. Suddenly, the point that my spouse was not with me was overshadowed by the companionship of my friends. The scene was the same as it was day in and day out. The mood friendly and relaxed. The only thing that was disturbing me was the miserable cold I was enduring. It felt like every minute I was required to take my handkerchief out of my pocket and constantly blow my nose. Indeed, annoying but at least I wasn't completely alone. The man to my right, a friend I had met previously at the mall, was going through the same misery. The others were quiet but I could sense were still enjoying themselves. Even with the fact that I was ill, I was still the most socially inclined. Perhaps,the reason for this was I was the youngest of the group and had not expierenced the health problems the others had to deal with over the years. There's a reason I wore my football jacket. Once a jock in highschool, and the quarterback of the football team, maybe all the exercise was paying off and my sustained health would keep me in line for the next few years. Overall, it was just an everyday sit down at the mall with my friends. We were all here for the same reason. Dealing with the death of a much loved one isn't easy. But with the aid of others who had expierenced the same occurence I felt occupied and uplifted. Isn't it nice to know you are not alone. As we polished off the last drops of our coffees and devoured our everyday breakfast sandwiches from A &W it was time to head home. My house, not far just a couple blocks west, was located in the central portion of the parkway area. I bundled up with gloves and threw on my black toque to keep my ears nice and toasty. It was a beautiful day, the sun was out, the snow was melting and the walk home was enjoyable. As soon as I got home, I sat myself down in my usual spot. My chair facing the T.V. and an ashtray in front of me. As I lit a cigarette and tuned in to The Price Is Right, I knew the rest of the day was going to be much more lonlier. Accomplishing all my errands first thing in the morning is always first on my agenda. The rest of the day was mine to relax. At 2 o'clock I decided it was time for my daily nap. Settling into bed I turned to my right to see the picture of my gorgeous wife sitting on her nightstand. I miss her so much and even though her death had occured several years ago, the pain and sadness still sunk in. However, I had to overcome the tragedy. Turning on my lamp I grabbed my book I had already sunk my teeth into. Stephen King was my favorite author and I had pledged to myself it would be the only series of books I'd ever read. Before you know it, I had dozed off into my afternoon slumber and woke up at my usual time of 5 o'clock. My dinner from meals on wheels was here. Tonight it was chicken and mash potatoes, a classic choice of comfort food. Once I had finished I turned on my old panasonic 30 inch tv and flipped to channel two to watch Global National. The news had become my most interesting source of entertainment. I laughed at seeing all the youth below me make dumb decisions. If only I could give them some of my wise advice to help them through. Flipping through the T.V. guide I was dissappointed to see there were no hockey games on tonight. Perhaps, it was good thing. My prescription drugs had made me dozy and bedtime was in order. Slowly trudging down the hall I got comfortable and rested in my bed. King Sized as once meant for two people. I didn't feel like reading tonight. Instead, I kept my eyes on the picture of my wife once again. Thoughts of all the good memories circulated through my mind and I felt my eyelids start to droop. I fell asleep to the moment in my mind of the day I proposed. I loved her so much and I always will.